Although untimely death is never a laughing matter, the murder of a Seaworld trainer at the fins of a killer whale made me snigger. Not the actual drowning itself, more the suspicious circumstances alluded to in the BBC article. The orca, nicknamed Telly, had been one of three whales blamed for killing a trainer in 1991 after she had fallen in a pool at a marine park in British Columbia, Canada. Telly continued his murderous rampage after being sold to SeaWorld Orlando being involved in a second incident “when authorities discovered the body of a naked man lying across his back in 1999.” WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN…? There’s so many things wrong with that sentence. With such a criminal record, surely Telly should have been retired or sushi-ed. I mean, would you let a convicted paedophile continue to be the school janitor?

In my opinion there has always been something sinister about killer whales. Like penguins. Maybe it’s the monochrome or the tiny eyes. Although in Telly’s defence, I’d be pretty pissed off too if you locked me in a cupboard, fed me fishheads and only let me out twice a day to dance for tourists.

Check out this near miss from last month